“We have to all…

“We have to allow ourselves to be loved by the people who really love us, the people who really matter. Too much of the time, we are blinded by our own pursuits of people to love us, people that don’t even matter, while all that time we waste and the people who do love us have to stand on the sidewalk and watch us beg in the streets! It’s time to put an end to this. It’s time for us to let ourselves be loved.”
― C. JoyBell C.

“Youth is wasted on the young.”
― Oscar Wilde

So, the quotes I’ve chosen for today’s blog don’t exactly fit the theme of my blog, but I thought they had nice sentiments.  If you haven’t noticed I generally try to stick with a theme.  Which is usually something I’m thinking about or experiencing.  Today’s theme is more about growing.  I’m thinking about this plant at work, that I’m trying to nurse back to health.  I started a new job at the end of November, waiting tables again,  a bit more upscale than my past two service industry jobs.  I’m excited, I’m learning so much, and trying so many new foods (who knew I’d like fish!?).  Yeah, it can have it’s down side but so can filing papers and answering phones all day.  I like people and I like making people happy,  food generally makes people happy.  Serving teaches you a lot about people.  I try not to cast judgement on others, and chalk any bad attitudes up to a bad day and let it go.  Anyways back to this plant, this poor sad plant, well where I work just moved to a new location, and during the move this plant was hidden in a back corner with no light or water for probably a few weeks. I’ll have to take a picture one of these days.  I’ve nursed a few plants back to life before and also killed this same plant before, which has probably sparked my interest in this one.  As well I had an internship for a designer and we worked out of her home,  she had this plant and is spanned nearly her whole second floor of their house.  It was strung above near the ceiling.  One day I asked the mother about it, she explained that this particular plant is good luck if it is gifted to you, and the larger it grows the more prosperous you will be.  My mom had given me part of her plant like this years ago and it died a slow terrible death, much like my bank account at the time.  Needless to say I believe her. I believe this is the plant: http://www.mahoneysgarden.com/houseplant/araceae-epipremnum-pothos

I hope I can promote growth to this plant and bring prosperity to my new place of work and hopefully along the way to myself.


“If you want to…

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
― Albert Einstein

So, I’m guilty of not even trying to achieve my goals I set for myself this year, so far.  Maybe its because I haven’t put them out there publicly. I’ll give this a shot, here they are:

40 minutes of yoga daily (I haven’t done this and I LOVE yoga)

4 new recipes a month (okay, so this one I think I’ve done) 

make 12 garments (only 12 to go)

a flat a day (I’m only, 35 behind on this) 

illustration a day (36)

tidy each day (meh…)

buy a new car

get out of kansas


I guess its safe to say I’ve been lazy.  Maybe a little down, 2013 was probably one of my roughest years and I really just want to make 2014 one of the best.  I haven’t ever been so unmotivated in my life.  I need a kick in the pants, or a fire lit underneath me.  The desire to achieve, I used to be so driven.  I need to find that girl again. 

So here’s to finding the girl I was and being her again.



“Nothing, good …

“Nothing, good comes from doing or wishing bad upon another.”

Maybe someone has done something or said something hurtful to you, but doing or saying something hurtful back doesn’t fix the problem.  I no longer feel horror when I hear of another school shooting.  I feel anger.  True anger.  Why is it that when people feel like their world is falling apart they need to rip apart the lives of others? Why? 

I don’t understand.  “Getting even” is not rewarding, it does not make you good person.  Why does the world seem to be falling apart?  With so many steps forward or world takes in accepting others some still don’t know to let things go.  Holding onto anger and resentment isn’t healthy for anyone.  I know I’m guilty of using poor words, and getting irritated at nonsensical things but venting is healthy. Let it out and let it go.  Let people know how you feel why they make you irritated, how they hurt your feelings instead of holding it all in.  Learn to listen.  Be kind.  Ask for help when you’re in need.  Help those you see are hurting or in need.  We all have a responsibility to make this world better. 


“The greater da…

“The greater danger for most of us lies not in setting our aim too high and falling short; but in setting our aim too low, and achieving our mark.”

It’s a new year.  The time for new beginnings.  I’m not sure I believe in resolutions, but I can believe in goals.  I think most people can.  In the past, I have set goals that were low and attainable.  Timid to a fault.  My goal this new year is to set higher goals.  Not to fear failure, failing is less shameful than not trying at all.  Be bold.  Best wishes for you and all of your 2014 goals!


“I learned that…

“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.”
― Nelson Mandela

It is difficult to step into the unknown. To walk off the path you are traveling.  But often it is the things in life that don’t seem to be meant for us are the very things that show us who we are.  I hope one day to have the not only the courage but strength to make my own path, and gracefully overcome any obstacles I come across.


“If you have mu…

“If you have much, give of your wealth; if you have little, give of your heart.” ~Arabian Proverb

Chirstmas is coming.  A stressful time of year for many. But we shouldn’t think of giving only around Christmas.  Maybe you can’t give things or money, but possibly you can give others time or appreciation.  Let others around you know that you love and appreciate them.  Being close to someone is a basic human need.  Think of those less fortunate and who have nothing, yes they need food and shelter but more importantly and most likely to make a profound effect on their life is they need to feel cared about.  It can be as simple as a smile and as generous as a handshake or a hug.  Be as kind as you wish others to be to you.


“Our lives are not our own”

“Our lives are not our own. From womb to tomb, we are bound to others. Past and present. And by each crime and every kindness, we birth our future…”

From the book, Cloud Atlas

I watched Cloud Atlas tonight. I had read the book years ago. Most books stick with me. Unless, I read them too fast. Maybe I was too distracted when I read this, or too caught up in my own thoughts as I read. I am intrigued by the unknown. Born into a religion you are taught “your” beliefs. I have not been content with that. It’s not that I don’t believe aspects of “my” religion, but it’s that I believe aspects of other religions. I at a young age heard another friend had said I was going to hell because I was of a different religion. And that she was trying to save me by taking me to her Wednesday night bible studies. While slightly flattered age wanted to save me. My little third grade mind raced with questions about how sure can she be that hers is the right one? Why would I go to hell for believing in god? Just because our religions are different? So this religion believes all who believe differently are condemned to hell? Who can that be godly? God in my mind wouldn’t condemn people for a trivial difference. Even if it were a large difference, believing and doing right in the world would be right in my mind.

I sat in church on Sundays thinking to god. (I’ll admit not always listening to the sermon.) Thinking about what happens when we die, where we go. Praying for forgiveness of my sins. Not understanding why or how someone (who’s religion hardly differed from mine) could believe that I was going to hell because our religions were different.
I found myself curious of others beliefs. Realizing all the similarities. I likened the variations to the “telephone game”.
To me god is god. He is in everything, with everything.
The sun shines. The plants grow. The water flows. The earth provides. We adapt to changes.
I see no reason science debunks religion. And no reason why religion should fear science or debunk evolution.
We are proof.

I believe in reincarnation. Not that I don’t believe in heaven or hell. I just believe some choose to live other life. Maybe that is heaven, maybe that is hell. Maybe it’s just another life on earth. We don’t know. We are not to judge the beliefs of others. Or to force our beliefs on them.
I am not afraid to say I believe in it all. Maybe this life is unfinished business, maybe it’s a chance at another perspective. A chance at a lost love from a past life. Maybe it’s to receive the sins committed in a past life. Or to revel in the good deeds. Maybe we choose, maybe we have our own reasons. Maybe we don’t have a choice. I guess I’m getting a little close to karma here.
“Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” The golden rule.
Like cloud atlas do we live other lives continuously making the same mistakes? Do we learn for our past lives?

My hope is one day we will be tolerant of others beliefs. Loving, respectful, open, and gentle. I hope one day we live in a world without war, without terror.
Love those you are bound to in this life and the next.